Dear Single Sister,
Let Me Tell You What God Told Me
"The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." Ps. 37:23
Growing up many people thought my parents were too strict, but the older I get the more thankful I am for the way I was raised. You see, I was raised in a saved household by parents who truly lived (and still do) what they preached. Growing up, we were not allowed to listen to secular music or watch certain TV shows. I can go on and on, but the truth is, growing up I didn't always agree with the rules....but because I feared for my life (just kidding lol), I obeyed.
Then I got saved at the age of 13 and filled with the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues at 15 and EVERYTHING not only made sense, but also changed. I no longer did the "right thing" because my parents said so; I obeyed because of my relationship with God. My greatest desire was and is to please God both publicly AND privately.
One of the "rules" growing up.....throughout high school was no dating. Yes, I said no dating. Now, my parents ALWAYS taught us (based on the Word) to remain abstinent until marriage, and being that my mom was a virgin when she married my dad...I desired (and still do) to do the same...but NO dating?!?! Goodness! Nevertheless...I obeyed.
The night before I graduated from high school my daddy presented me with a purity ring and I made a vow to God and my future spouse that I would remain a virgin until marriage. He then told me that although he would rather me focus on my studies in college and wait on the one that God has for me to find me...the "rule" was lifted. I still remember the various conversations that some had with my mom that once I went off to Spelman, I would live contrary to what I was taught......but I was determined that I was going to live for the Lord no matter what. That summer, I spent a lot of time with God in prayer and in the Word. He shared with and taught me many things, but one thing I remember Him saying was, "Daughter, your husband is NOT at Morehouse and he is NOT in Atlanta." I remember thinking, "Really?!?! Come on LORD!!!" He then kept saying, "Trust Me!" SO again, I had a decision to make. Was I going to trust God, not date, and wait on His best or was I going to take matters into my own hands and date just to date....knowing good and well "he" was not going to be my husband. After careful consideration I decided to be obedient and trust God with my love story. A nice guy would approach me every now and then and in my spirit I would hear, "That's not him. Trust Me." Many people thought I was being "too deep" and to be honest, at times I thought I was too, but I kept hearing..."Trust ME!" To make a long story short, I graduated in 2013 and moved to Macon for a Master's program. I remember on my 23rd birthday, thinking, "Girl, you've never had a boyfriend or even been on a date." The enemy tried to make me feel bad about it, but I still heard God whisper, "Trust ME!" He reminded me of what I had asked Him concerning my future husband and that in His perfect timing He would make good on that promise. About a month after my 24th birthday this year I was talking with a young lady; she asked me if I had met anyone yet. I responded with a simple, "No ma'am." She then took a deep breath (I could tell she was a tad bit irritated), "Raven, you don't market yourself, that's why you're single. Nobody knows you! You don't post anything on Facebook....you just need to put yourself out there." I didn't know whether to cry or to be offended. LOL! (Before I continue, let me just say that I love this young lady and this post is not meant to make fun of or belittle her, I just want to encourage my single sisters.)
So that night I went to God and I poured out my heart to Him.
I said, "Lord, is something wrong with me?!? I know you told me to trust You, but I don't want to be single forever! EVERYONE has a boyfriend BUT me! I just don't understand...I'm a good girl, I'm living for You...where is my man of God?!?! I went on and on and on and on.
Once I got quiet, He said,
"Daughter, why do you want a boyfriend?
I said, "Well Lord, I do want to be married one day...."
He said, "I know that, but why do you want a boyfriend?"
I said, "Well, well....."
"Daughter, you are not ready to be married right now. Not because you're immature, but because there are things that I have ordained and anointed you to give birth to in your singleness....things that are and will prepare you for the things that I have prepared for you in the future. Get your eyes off people, your calendar, and whatever else and put them on Me! No good thing will I withhold from you. Stay hidden! Don't move ahead of me. No, you do not have to "market yourself" or "put yourself out there." I'll connect you to the right one at the right time and together, you two will make a difference in this world for My glory and your marriage will be what I intended all along....a MINISTRY! Right now, stay focused! You have people to reach, people to share the Gospel with, and a responsibility to shine your light in this dark world!!! Rest and trust Me! You won't be disappointed."
I remember getting up and having such a sense of peace. Yes, I still desire to be married, but I'm determined now more than ever to trust God with my love story. After all, He put the desire in my heart, He'll fulfill it in due time.
So listen sister, "God has designed this beautiful gift of singleness to highlight your need to be chosen and to underline the inadequacy of people to fill that need. Don’t be ashamed by your desire to be wanted and chosen. Let it drive you to cling to the Lord who has chosen you at great cost." Wait on the Lord and allow Him to do what only He can do. As a single young lady this is the perfect time to develop a radical relationship with Christ. Give your whole heart to Him and chase after Him with everything you have. Hide your heart in Christ so that the man that He created for you will have to seek Him in order to FIND YOU! Your time will come (not a moment too late or too early) and together, you two will make a difference in this world for God's glory and your marriage will be what God intended all along.....A MINISTRY! In the meantime, focus on the Lord. He doesn't need your help in this area. He's got your entire life laid out and the plans He has for you are far better than yours. You have people to reach, people to share the Gospel with, and a responsibility to shine your light in this dark world!!! God has a mission for you to complete, right now! Don't miss out on the beauty of this season because you are so focused on the next. Rest and trust God! And when the enemy tries to make you feel bad, remember he's a liar.....tell him to shut up and remind yourself that....
"....those who seek the Lord shall NOT lack any good thing" Ps. 34:10
"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in You." Ps. 84:11-12
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord." Pro. 18:22
"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Ps. 37:4
Be encouraged sister!