The Breaking Free Series Part 1:
Breaking Free from People (their approval, acceptance, what they think, etc.,)
January 2014
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10 NIV
People pleasers.
They come in all different forms.
Some are worried about what people think of them. Some are constantly killing themselves over the fact that someone does not "seem" to like them. Some wonder constantly, "What will it 'look' like?" Some need everybody, everyday to affirm, validate, or approve of them. Some will compromise what they know to be right in order to fit in. I know that this post is not for everyone because there are people out there that don't care what people think of them and that is great! But, I am here to encourage those that do and to help them break free. I've never been one to compromise, but I have been the one who worked so hard to be nice to EVERYONE because I wanted EVERYONE to like me. even if it meant my feelings getting hurt in the process. But the older I get, the more I realize that no matter how nice I am, some folks just won't like me! And that's fine. Does it change the fact that I'm saved? Nope. Does it mean that I'm not nice? Nope. Does it mean that I'm not a good person? Nope. Here's a GREAT question: does life stop because someone doesn't like me? I have three words for you: life goes on! Here's another GREAT question: Does their opinion change God's mind about me? Malachi 3:6 says, "For I am the Lord, I change NOT." And last, but certainly not least: Does it mean that I have to not like them because they don't like me? Absolutely NOT! Truth is: the people that hate me the most are the people that God places on my heart the most to pray for and show love to. Not to get them to like me, but to be obedient to God. "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples" (John 13:35 NLT). "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord" (Leviticus 19:18). "This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you" (John 15:12 NLT). Is it easy all the time? Nope. Is it worth it? Yes, because although I can't change people.....I CAN BE FREE! Welcome to Part 1 of the Breaking Free Series. Today, we're breaking free from people (their approval, acceptance, what they think, etc.,).
Why do we need to break free from people?
Because one of the greatest prisons that you can live in is the fear of what other people think.
Paul makes it plain in Galatians 1:10 NIV; he says that you cannot want to please people or have their approval and still be a servant of Christ. Here's the truth friend, YOU cannot please everyone and some people just won't like you. Matter of fact, someone is going to criticize you no matter what you do. Until you earnestly crave the approval of God more than you seek the approval, awards, accolades, and applause of man, YOU will never be free. "Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey" (Romans 6:16 NLT). I know that this scripture is referring to obeying sin vs. obeying God, but let's face it; it's pretty difficult to obey God when you are constantly worrying about what people think? If you're in the compromise category, you know this all too well. You knew the right thing to do, but because you wanted to be accepted you compromised. On the other hand, God could tell you to do something out of the ordinary, but because you are sooooo concerned about people (what they think), you in the process give God a "no" and the devil a "yes." You see, the enemy's desire is to shut your mouth! He doesn't want you to be a light for Christ. He wants you to think that what you do does not matter. He wants you to think that you are ineffective. His goal is to get you so wrapped up into what people think of you that you never realize your true identity. What better way to accomplish this "identity crisis" then to create a prison with bars made up of what other people think of you. You see, the devil knows that when a Christian realizes, accepts, and walks confidently in who they are in Christ, nothing and no one can hinder them from being all that God has called them to be and from reaching more people for the Kingdom!
So, Raven, how do I break free?
Here are 6 key points:
1. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally
2. What other people think of you is none of your business
3. You are defined in the Word
4. Keep your mind on the Word
5. Intimacy with God is your life source
6. Whatever God says do, do it
1. I'm learning to take nothing personally. What does this mean? No matter what folks do, I'm determined to do the right thing and to live and love like Christ. How? For example, if someone is not saved and can't stand you, don't take it personally. That's a spiritual issue. The father of their life can't stand the Father of yours. Pray for them. If someone just doesn't like you.......don't take it personally. Pray and ask God to show you if you did something to that individual that deserves an apology. Once you have prayed and God has spoken. Move with what you heard. If so, apologize. If not, pray for them and move on! TAKE NOTHING PERSONALLY. One thing is for sure, if we are going to live the free life that God has called us to live, we must stop being so easily offended. If they don't speak, YOU speak and keep it moving. If they don't support you, YOU support them as you are led to, and keep it moving. If they don't encourage you, first, encourage YOURSELF and then them and then keep it moving! There is freedom in doing what's right, there is bondage in trying to prove a point or in trying to get revenge. Friend, God sees. He sees every kind thing that you have done behind the scenes and He is proud of you. Why? Because you are acting, living, and loving like Him! People didn't like Jesus. People didn't approve and accept Jesus and still don't. Matter of fact, all of us at one point in our lives before we got saved, intentionally or unintentionally rejected Him too, BUT Jesus still loved us. So....who are you to not do the same?!?!?
2. It's true: What other people think of you is none of your business. How do you break free and stay free? MIND YOUR BUSINESS! What is your business? Every promise and word that proceeds out of the mouth of God! Believe what God says more than you do what people say. Believe what God thinks of you more than you do what people think of you. Receive and walk in the love, acceptance, approval, and validation of God! Stop feasting on trash and start feasting on the Word. What's trash? Anything that does not line up with God's Word and what He says and thinks about YOU. If the TV show causes you to doubt who you are....it's trash. If that friend is not speaking life; intentionally or unintentionally causing you to be discouraged ...what they are saying is trash. If what you read is sowing seeds of insecurity, doubt, worry, fear, or inadequacy .....it's trash. AND most of all.....if what other people say and think of you is not in agreement with what God says and thinks....once again.....it's trash! Listen friend, the opinion you value most will either add, subtract, multiply, or divide to your destiny! It's your choice. If you want a subtracted/divided destiny.....focus on the opinions of folks. If you want an added to/multiplied destiny....focus on God! It's His opinion that matters most anyways! Our theme for this series states that "A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God planned for him/her" (Beth Moore). Caring about what people think, trying to get their approval, trying to be accepted, or compromising will hinder you and possibly cause you to not reach your expected end! People pleasers are held captive, not realizing that they have the key to live free on the inside of them! The enemy loves to make "people pleasers" feel isolated. He also loves to add the chains of worry, fear, stress, anxiety, doubt and unbelief around their wrist and ankles in order to paralyze them; keeping them from walking in the fullness of God and becoming who God has ordained them to be (more on this later).
3. When this world, people, tv, or whatever else tries to tell you who you are "supposed" to be or who they "think" you are, you better open the pages of God's Word and be reminded of who YOU ARE (Lauren DeMoss)! To this day, when I start to be overly concerned with what people think, I pull away and I get in the Word. It's in the Word that I find out who I am. It's in the Word that I see Whose opinion really matters. It's in the Word that I find out that I am already defined.
Raven
/ˈrāvən/
Child of God/Saved (Romans 8:14-15, John 1:12-13, Ephesians 2:8-9). One who is loved (Isaiah 54:10, Romans 8:38-39). Accepted (Ephesians 1:6). Never alone (Deuteronomy 31:6, Matthew 28:20). Fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Delivered and God's delight (Psalm 18:19). Redeemed and protected (Isaiah 43:1-2). Never forgotten and held (Isaiah 49:15-16). One who has a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11, Jeremiah 1:5). FREE (2 Corinthians 3:17, John 8:36, Galatians 5:1, Galatians 5:13). Fearless (2 Timothy 1:7, Romans 8:15). Loving (John 13:35).Full of peace and joy (Psalm 29:11, John 15:11, Romans 15:13, Isaiah 35:10, Psalm 30:11). Victorious (2 Corinthians 2:14, Romans 8:37).
And guess what? If you are saved, you are defined in this same way. Listen, some days your peace of mind and joy is a gift. Other days it's an all-out battle. You don't have to be held captive by what people think of you or people in general. You can be free! It's time you put on the whole armor of God and fight back friend!
4. How do we fight back? We fight back by praying the Word over ourselves and keeping the above scriptures and countless others before our eyes daily. Joshua 1:8-9 tells us how to be successful, "Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.” Keep the Word on your mind. "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me---everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you (Philippians 4:8-9 NLT). Don't get off track looking to the left or the right because you are constantly wondering what people think of you. You've got places to go, people to inspire, differences to make......keep your mind on the Word.
5. "A man that is intimate with God is not intimidated by man." Be serious about your relationship with God. The more you spend time with Him and get to know Him, the more you'll know yourself.....recognizing truth and rebuking lies. Always remember that intimacy with God is our life source. Without it, we are on 'E." Catherine Mullins said that, "Intimacy with God releases power, identity, and destiny." You want the power to live free and victoriously over the works of the enemy? You want to know who you really are? You want to know what it is you were called to do? Get intimate with Jesus. I promise that your life will never be the same!
6. Get busy serving the Lord! Whatever God says to do, do it! I prayed and asked God to show me someone in the Bible who was too concerned about folks and thus missed out on what God wanted to do in their lives. He led me to Numbers 13. In this chapter Moses sent twelve spies to explore the land of Canaan. Ten spies came back saying, "We should turn back. There are giants in the land. We were like grasshoppers in our own eyes and in theirs" (vs. 31-33). Caleb's report was different. Numbers 13:30 says, "And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at once, and possess it: for we are well able to overcome it." Friend, you have a choice to make. You can either be like the ten who did not go up to take their promise land but wandered in the wilderness for the next 40 years because they did not know who they were and they also cared too much about how people viewed them. Or you can be like Caleb, who found his identity in the Word and did what God said to do. Caleb and Joshua along with the next generation entered the promise land because they decided to serve the Lord and do what He told them to do. It's your choice! You can be an echo like the 10, or a VOICE like the two. The truth is, once you find out what it is that God has called you to do and you know in your spirit without a shadow of a doubt that God is for you and that He is pleased with what you are doing, you will be like the two. In the midst of others allowing the enemy to imprison and confuse them with what people think, you will be free because you will finally see yourself the way God sees you!
So today, take nothing personally, mind your business, keep your mind on the word (casting down every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God), develop a more intimate relationship with God, and start serving Him wholeheartedly (whatever He says do, do it) and you'll be free and stay free from people! God wants you to live with fearless confidence, knowing that He has a unique plan and purpose for your life! Be encouraged today and be free!
Galatians 1:10 NIV
People pleasers.
They come in all different forms.
Some are worried about what people think of them. Some are constantly killing themselves over the fact that someone does not "seem" to like them. Some wonder constantly, "What will it 'look' like?" Some need everybody, everyday to affirm, validate, or approve of them. Some will compromise what they know to be right in order to fit in. I know that this post is not for everyone because there are people out there that don't care what people think of them and that is great! But, I am here to encourage those that do and to help them break free. I've never been one to compromise, but I have been the one who worked so hard to be nice to EVERYONE because I wanted EVERYONE to like me. even if it meant my feelings getting hurt in the process. But the older I get, the more I realize that no matter how nice I am, some folks just won't like me! And that's fine. Does it change the fact that I'm saved? Nope. Does it mean that I'm not nice? Nope. Does it mean that I'm not a good person? Nope. Here's a GREAT question: does life stop because someone doesn't like me? I have three words for you: life goes on! Here's another GREAT question: Does their opinion change God's mind about me? Malachi 3:6 says, "For I am the Lord, I change NOT." And last, but certainly not least: Does it mean that I have to not like them because they don't like me? Absolutely NOT! Truth is: the people that hate me the most are the people that God places on my heart the most to pray for and show love to. Not to get them to like me, but to be obedient to God. "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples" (John 13:35 NLT). "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord" (Leviticus 19:18). "This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you" (John 15:12 NLT). Is it easy all the time? Nope. Is it worth it? Yes, because although I can't change people.....I CAN BE FREE! Welcome to Part 1 of the Breaking Free Series. Today, we're breaking free from people (their approval, acceptance, what they think, etc.,).
Why do we need to break free from people?
Because one of the greatest prisons that you can live in is the fear of what other people think.
Paul makes it plain in Galatians 1:10 NIV; he says that you cannot want to please people or have their approval and still be a servant of Christ. Here's the truth friend, YOU cannot please everyone and some people just won't like you. Matter of fact, someone is going to criticize you no matter what you do. Until you earnestly crave the approval of God more than you seek the approval, awards, accolades, and applause of man, YOU will never be free. "Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey" (Romans 6:16 NLT). I know that this scripture is referring to obeying sin vs. obeying God, but let's face it; it's pretty difficult to obey God when you are constantly worrying about what people think? If you're in the compromise category, you know this all too well. You knew the right thing to do, but because you wanted to be accepted you compromised. On the other hand, God could tell you to do something out of the ordinary, but because you are sooooo concerned about people (what they think), you in the process give God a "no" and the devil a "yes." You see, the enemy's desire is to shut your mouth! He doesn't want you to be a light for Christ. He wants you to think that what you do does not matter. He wants you to think that you are ineffective. His goal is to get you so wrapped up into what people think of you that you never realize your true identity. What better way to accomplish this "identity crisis" then to create a prison with bars made up of what other people think of you. You see, the devil knows that when a Christian realizes, accepts, and walks confidently in who they are in Christ, nothing and no one can hinder them from being all that God has called them to be and from reaching more people for the Kingdom!
So, Raven, how do I break free?
Here are 6 key points:
1. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally
2. What other people think of you is none of your business
3. You are defined in the Word
4. Keep your mind on the Word
5. Intimacy with God is your life source
6. Whatever God says do, do it
1. I'm learning to take nothing personally. What does this mean? No matter what folks do, I'm determined to do the right thing and to live and love like Christ. How? For example, if someone is not saved and can't stand you, don't take it personally. That's a spiritual issue. The father of their life can't stand the Father of yours. Pray for them. If someone just doesn't like you.......don't take it personally. Pray and ask God to show you if you did something to that individual that deserves an apology. Once you have prayed and God has spoken. Move with what you heard. If so, apologize. If not, pray for them and move on! TAKE NOTHING PERSONALLY. One thing is for sure, if we are going to live the free life that God has called us to live, we must stop being so easily offended. If they don't speak, YOU speak and keep it moving. If they don't support you, YOU support them as you are led to, and keep it moving. If they don't encourage you, first, encourage YOURSELF and then them and then keep it moving! There is freedom in doing what's right, there is bondage in trying to prove a point or in trying to get revenge. Friend, God sees. He sees every kind thing that you have done behind the scenes and He is proud of you. Why? Because you are acting, living, and loving like Him! People didn't like Jesus. People didn't approve and accept Jesus and still don't. Matter of fact, all of us at one point in our lives before we got saved, intentionally or unintentionally rejected Him too, BUT Jesus still loved us. So....who are you to not do the same?!?!?
2. It's true: What other people think of you is none of your business. How do you break free and stay free? MIND YOUR BUSINESS! What is your business? Every promise and word that proceeds out of the mouth of God! Believe what God says more than you do what people say. Believe what God thinks of you more than you do what people think of you. Receive and walk in the love, acceptance, approval, and validation of God! Stop feasting on trash and start feasting on the Word. What's trash? Anything that does not line up with God's Word and what He says and thinks about YOU. If the TV show causes you to doubt who you are....it's trash. If that friend is not speaking life; intentionally or unintentionally causing you to be discouraged ...what they are saying is trash. If what you read is sowing seeds of insecurity, doubt, worry, fear, or inadequacy .....it's trash. AND most of all.....if what other people say and think of you is not in agreement with what God says and thinks....once again.....it's trash! Listen friend, the opinion you value most will either add, subtract, multiply, or divide to your destiny! It's your choice. If you want a subtracted/divided destiny.....focus on the opinions of folks. If you want an added to/multiplied destiny....focus on God! It's His opinion that matters most anyways! Our theme for this series states that "A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God planned for him/her" (Beth Moore). Caring about what people think, trying to get their approval, trying to be accepted, or compromising will hinder you and possibly cause you to not reach your expected end! People pleasers are held captive, not realizing that they have the key to live free on the inside of them! The enemy loves to make "people pleasers" feel isolated. He also loves to add the chains of worry, fear, stress, anxiety, doubt and unbelief around their wrist and ankles in order to paralyze them; keeping them from walking in the fullness of God and becoming who God has ordained them to be (more on this later).
3. When this world, people, tv, or whatever else tries to tell you who you are "supposed" to be or who they "think" you are, you better open the pages of God's Word and be reminded of who YOU ARE (Lauren DeMoss)! To this day, when I start to be overly concerned with what people think, I pull away and I get in the Word. It's in the Word that I find out who I am. It's in the Word that I see Whose opinion really matters. It's in the Word that I find out that I am already defined.
Raven
/ˈrāvən/
Child of God/Saved (Romans 8:14-15, John 1:12-13, Ephesians 2:8-9). One who is loved (Isaiah 54:10, Romans 8:38-39). Accepted (Ephesians 1:6). Never alone (Deuteronomy 31:6, Matthew 28:20). Fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Delivered and God's delight (Psalm 18:19). Redeemed and protected (Isaiah 43:1-2). Never forgotten and held (Isaiah 49:15-16). One who has a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11, Jeremiah 1:5). FREE (2 Corinthians 3:17, John 8:36, Galatians 5:1, Galatians 5:13). Fearless (2 Timothy 1:7, Romans 8:15). Loving (John 13:35).Full of peace and joy (Psalm 29:11, John 15:11, Romans 15:13, Isaiah 35:10, Psalm 30:11). Victorious (2 Corinthians 2:14, Romans 8:37).
And guess what? If you are saved, you are defined in this same way. Listen, some days your peace of mind and joy is a gift. Other days it's an all-out battle. You don't have to be held captive by what people think of you or people in general. You can be free! It's time you put on the whole armor of God and fight back friend!
4. How do we fight back? We fight back by praying the Word over ourselves and keeping the above scriptures and countless others before our eyes daily. Joshua 1:8-9 tells us how to be successful, "Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.” Keep the Word on your mind. "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me---everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you (Philippians 4:8-9 NLT). Don't get off track looking to the left or the right because you are constantly wondering what people think of you. You've got places to go, people to inspire, differences to make......keep your mind on the Word.
5. "A man that is intimate with God is not intimidated by man." Be serious about your relationship with God. The more you spend time with Him and get to know Him, the more you'll know yourself.....recognizing truth and rebuking lies. Always remember that intimacy with God is our life source. Without it, we are on 'E." Catherine Mullins said that, "Intimacy with God releases power, identity, and destiny." You want the power to live free and victoriously over the works of the enemy? You want to know who you really are? You want to know what it is you were called to do? Get intimate with Jesus. I promise that your life will never be the same!
6. Get busy serving the Lord! Whatever God says to do, do it! I prayed and asked God to show me someone in the Bible who was too concerned about folks and thus missed out on what God wanted to do in their lives. He led me to Numbers 13. In this chapter Moses sent twelve spies to explore the land of Canaan. Ten spies came back saying, "We should turn back. There are giants in the land. We were like grasshoppers in our own eyes and in theirs" (vs. 31-33). Caleb's report was different. Numbers 13:30 says, "And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at once, and possess it: for we are well able to overcome it." Friend, you have a choice to make. You can either be like the ten who did not go up to take their promise land but wandered in the wilderness for the next 40 years because they did not know who they were and they also cared too much about how people viewed them. Or you can be like Caleb, who found his identity in the Word and did what God said to do. Caleb and Joshua along with the next generation entered the promise land because they decided to serve the Lord and do what He told them to do. It's your choice! You can be an echo like the 10, or a VOICE like the two. The truth is, once you find out what it is that God has called you to do and you know in your spirit without a shadow of a doubt that God is for you and that He is pleased with what you are doing, you will be like the two. In the midst of others allowing the enemy to imprison and confuse them with what people think, you will be free because you will finally see yourself the way God sees you!
So today, take nothing personally, mind your business, keep your mind on the word (casting down every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God), develop a more intimate relationship with God, and start serving Him wholeheartedly (whatever He says do, do it) and you'll be free and stay free from people! God wants you to live with fearless confidence, knowing that He has a unique plan and purpose for your life! Be encouraged today and be free!